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However, creating this intimacy is hard work and much harder than the easy escapism of the internet or watching TV or even over-working or domestic chores.

Real intimacy is created in everyday communication, in the nitty-gritty of sharing a life together and in the hard work of resolving conflicts and accepting the other person as different to you.

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How much of a problem it is, depends on the degree and type of access and what it means in the context of the marriage.There is a big difference between a person occasionally viewing pornography with the knowledge and even involvement of their partner to a full-blown betrayal and using adult websites to start affairs with other people.When this happens frequently, it can lead to a reduction in their sex-life together, a growing sense of disconnection and an erosion of the marital bond.Improving the marriage The discovery of your husband’s online world is a crisis in your marriage but it can also represent an opportunity.All types - young, mature, grannies, BBWs & housewives.

ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.

You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.

To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.

Though it may be painful, the fact that you have started talking about issues is a good sign.

To continue with this process you may wish to seek marriage counselling ( relationshipsireland.com, accord.ie).

You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.