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1) If it was the other way around: The first big rule is what would you think if your partner was having the same friendship with someone else? This is one of the best measuring methods of whether the friendship is inappropriate.

2) Opposite sex: I’m not saying don’t have friends with the opposite sex, but this is a good clue to their being a potential problem ;o) 3) Many years age difference: Having a close relationship with a girl many years younger, or a guy who is much older (and of course it can go vice versa in this new world of the Couga!

’ So reading between the lines a bit, I suspect that hubby is a flirt, and wifey knows that he is too naive about the intentions of the women he is encountering, as one of the key attractors to a women is not being single but being with someone else. that the fact that someone else has already vetted them and thinks them Ok relationship material.

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I really don’t want to be upsetting her, but I’m not as capable of seeing what is obvious to her.

Do you have any tips for recognising when a friendship is just that and when in female terms it goes too far?

14) You already have a history with them: If they are an ex, then they could easily become a ‘present’!

15) You are tempted to keep it secret: If you are tending to keep the conversations and meetings secret for some reason, then you know that internally you think your partner wouldn’t be happy, at which point I direct you back to point 1!12) Fancying them: If you ‘would do them’ as a male mate of mine used to say, then I can pretty much be sure that your partner won’t approve of the friendship.13) They have a history of affairs: If this person has a history of having affairs with other people, then a big red flag is waving at you!) is definitely a bit of a red flag, as it goes against normal social 4) Time of the messages: Text/facebook (or whatever social media you use) messages first or last thing at night are a big red flag, because they show that you/they are the first or last thing on each others minds.5) Frequency of the messages: If you/they are in touch a great deal more than with other people, then it shows that the friendship has greater significance.For example, if you are in touch with them more than your own partner, then that’s definitely not a good sign.