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It only lasted a month or so, as she decided it wouldn’t work out. Last week I was out at a local watering hole and I bumped into her …we exchanged the standard pleasantries and that was that.

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my psyche takes a second to process shape shifters, even when they bear identical countenance with consistency, as do you. No “LOL,” no snark tag, no indication that she was anything other than completely serious.

Moreover, not only do I not recall ever being “made of light particles,” but I’d never even been in her house, let alone inset into her living room wall. Then too literally (as I’ve been told on numerous occasions). Turns out the reference to “light particles” in her living room had to do with my appearances on national television last November.

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My cousin's best friend would do this to me all the time whenever he heard through the grapevine I was single again (even though I have been out of the church for more than 10 years).

Without fail, a few weeks after I was single again I would get a message from him 'just to say hi.' Maybe not creepy per se, but there is definitely something about Adventist dating/guy culture that feeds this and I don't understand it at all.

Over the weekend, I got a succinct text message from her: “Nice seeing you again.” I replied in kind, adding that I wasn’t sure she had recognized me, since it had been seven months or so since we’d last seen each other.

So, last night, I got this e-mail, presented here in its entirety: i’m sorry if i was spacey when we met the other day. the last time i saw you you were made of light particles and inset into my living room wall.

I finally said, okay so how did you find out I was single?