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From the Hamilton Spectator Daily News comes this story of a Burlington, Ontario couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have it break down in the parking lot.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead. At the end of the day: the car isnt washed, the bills arent paid, there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter, the flowers dont have enough water, there is still only one cheque in my cheque book, I cant find the remote, I cant find my glasses, and I dont remember what I did with the car keys.

The woman walked up to the examiner and said, "I've answered this question in all four ways, the wall, the cliff, the young man, the old man. The boy and the man figured they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey.

Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Mick is.

The nurse breaks down and cries and says, "He's dead." Paddy is shocked, but not surprised.

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of red wine and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle four times on the way home !

She then took a deep breath and stood up boldly to face the crowd.

When she looked across the hood, she found herself staring at her husband, who had been standing idly by. " I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, Ill be looking for the remote, but I wont remember that its on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first Ill water the flowers.

The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.

When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket.

"Woman: "No, we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one cuz we don't have a car."Judge: "Please, is there any infidelity in your marriage? The damn fool says he can't communicate with me." A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light.